It's 3am I must be lonely

Line from Matchbox 20's song "3am". Just the name of the blog, not what I'm about to post. Wrote this a few weeks back when I was having a rough time and a mild panic attack. Enjoy.

If I go to bed now, I'll probably not fall asleep
If I go to bed now, I'll face hours of insomniac restlessness
If I go to bed now, I'll spend hours thinking about how much of a failure I am
If I go to bed now, I'll be stressing about my work not being done
If I go to bed now, I'll toss and turn trying to get comfy
If I go to bed now, the rain will make me need the loo every few seconds
If I go to bed now, I'll eventually get some sleep, but it won't be enough so
If I go to bed now, I'll feel like death tomorrow
If I go to bed now, it'll be another day to live through
If I go to bed now, I'll have to face leaving the house again
If I go to bed now, I'll have to see my lecturer
If I go to bed now, I'll have to take all my medicine
If I go to bed now, it'll be another day closer to my next shift at work
If I go to bed now, I'm faced with another day alone
If I go to bed now, I'll have to say goodbye to my support system for another few hours
If I go to bed now, I'll probably cry
If I go to bed now, I'll start thinking of my mum, wishing I was with her
If I go to bed now, I'll start thinking about the lack of food we own
If I go to bed now, I'll be thinking of the future again
If I go to bed now, it'll make me think of my lack of money/time/energy
If I go to bed now, I'll feel so weak again
If I go to bed now, I'll have more nightmares
If I go to bed now, I'll be thinking of my illnesses and how much I hate them
If I go to bed now, I'll be reminded of how tired of life I am
If I go to bed now, I'll just be listening to his snoring
If I go to bed now, I'll have to turn the alarm off again in the morning
If I go to bed now...
If I go to bed now...
If I go to bed now...

But I'm just so tired