The handbags and the Gladrags

Honestly, by the end of the Christmas holidays this year I'm going to be all Terry's chocolate oranged out! I got 3 of them from Santa and one from mum's mate Ruth. Was a good haul again this year, although slightly worrying when I think about the 6 pairs of socks and a single pair of gardening gloves I received, but that might be because Mrs. Clause is sick of hearing me complain about a lack of socks and my uni lecturer told us we needed gardening gloves to protect our poor little fingers from burns in the photography studio. I also received a few DVD's, a glass china tea cup with some Jasmine flower buds for Jasmine tea and a thermos flask for cups of tea and soup at university to save money. Another of mum and dad's friends, Terry and Linda, sent me a pair of false eyelashes that are gold and black.

I'm a little annoyed right now because I've just checked my university email and found another eamil from my uni lecturer who has sent it on the day of the deadline AGAIN asking for my passport details and my dietry needs. I'm going to Peterborough tomorrow to get a new passport but there's not a lot I can do if they don't get it down that I'm gluten free. I might end up taking my own pack up lunch, just like a 6 year old, woopee.

Anyway, on christmas day we went to visit my grandparents, great aunt and uncle and my Uncle Kevin who was staying with them all. My Great Uncle Albert unfortunately had an unconcious hypo christmas eve night and wasn't coping very well on christmas day. I didn't have the heart to tell him how bad he would feel for the next 3 days. It takes me about 3 days to recover from a fit like that and being that he's my grandpa's brother... you can imagine the age difference. But that didn't stop him whipping up a truely spectacular christmas meal as usual, even if he did accidentally pour hot fat down my brothers back! I did a photoshoot while there so hopefully got some pictures good enough to use for my photography project. Also on Boxing day I went to see my dads band perform at a local pub. The crowd were really different from my college friends who had been at my party, but the music was good and didn't spend a penny all night coz people kept buying me drinks!

Don't really know what else to say. I've not even started trying to do my history work yet and have done a fair bit of photograhy but needto copy it up to make it worth anything in terms of marks and what-not. My video lecturer still hasn't sent me a copy of the brief so may have to go pay him a visit when I get back. Not heard from the producers of "shellshocked" so don't know how it's going yet but can't wait until I get my own copy of it! Am off to Lukes house tomorrow and then to emily's for new year so it'll probably be a few days before I write again being that Luke has my laptop and I'm not lugging the massive home computer round with me! So ciao for now and have a great new years eve! See you on the other side.

When you're feeling tired but you can't sleep

Bad attempt at a title today, I really couldn't think of a song to use but mum suggested "Fix you" by coldplay, one of my favourite songs. I looked on a website at the lyrics and found this line that fits quite well with last night because it was quite a restless night, no idea why, but it was.

Don't worry, I do plan on writing these over christmas and I started writing one on Sunday but then decided to phone Luke about whether he was coming to visit me yesterday or not and he made me angry so I canceled the post before I said something I didn't mean to say. But the loveliness of the computer age is that I have just scoured this website and found the unpublished post so I can add in the few points in there too. Points like the affectionately named "stinky stick". Not Affectionately by me I might add, but by my dear mother. The stinky stick is mums way of decorating the house withouit a christmas tree. Of course the stinky stick isn't stinky anymore, it was left out in the rain and wind for a few weeks after mum brought it back from the beach so all bad smells ahve been eradicated but the name seems to have stuck. Being wrapped in tinsel, fairy lights and baubels certainly does improve its appearance but doesn't quite place itself in my heart instead of the usual too-big christmas tree shoved in the corner and dropping pine needles all over the floor. It looks okay, just not particularly festive enough for my liking.

Anyway, the past week (as today is Tuesday). It's been snowing a lot this week, and I don't mean the few pathetically watery flakes that send all school teachers mad getting scared the children will get stuck in the schools, but the proper snow that causes driving to be stressful, the world to look magical, and Ella to fall on her bottom 4 times when trying to get down to Brighouse with Luke. I didn't hurt myself, I was too busy laughing at my own stupidity to hurt! Luke tried once or twice to change the direction of my fall and give a slight push to see how far down the hill he could get me, but as the ice was covered in quite a fat layer of snow, it wasn't very far. Mum and Brendan decided to brave the elements on Sunday and create a snowman, which has, unfortunately, lost it's head in the winds over the past few days and, I fear, my hat which I have never really worn. Just because I have never worn the thing does not stop me from being fond of it!

I met up with Kirsty today. Kirsty is my best friend from being the age of abour 4 years old. We've been trying really hard over the past few days to find a time we can both meet up and possibly have a typically childish sleepover, but unfortunately that isn't going to happen so we met today for a spot of shopping and general "chilling" which included my mum who has always liked Kirsty a lot. Also we have made an agreement. If she stays in england for her 21st birthday, I am taking her out to get a kitten, whether her boyfriend likes it or not. While out I finally finished Emily's christmas present, which unfortunately fell apart when we got home so me and mum had to be quite creative with the super glue. I think it's going to stay together now, but I'm going to leave them alone for another 24hours, just to be sure.

As children up and down the country are saying, Christmas is only 3 sleeps away, and on christmas day I will be seeing my grnadparents who I have missed every day since I last saw them I think at my birthday party in september, my Uncle Kevin who is visiting from Canada and left our house to spend a few days with his parents in the lake district and my Great Aunt Shelia and Uncle Albert who were last seen again at my birthday party. I can't wait! I know what quite a few of my christmas presents are, such as the DVD box set from Luke and the posh Chinese teapot and flower teas from "Mrs SantaClause" but being me I've forgotten everything else and don't even know some of the presents. Christmas is going to be excellent this year!!

We're walking in a winter wonderland

That's right everyone, Jack Forst hit full force last night and left the world under a snowy white blanket that is simply dazzling! I know it's a few days since I wrote last, but I do have some good things to talk about! Firstly, I had a wonderful day of rest on Wednesday, following a typically teenage pattern of getting up at 1:30pm. I wasn't all lazy though, walking down to Brighouse to gather a few things needed, especially the 50p bowl I have owed to Emily since I stayed at her house for the week of skint-ness when my bank balence hit it's lowest number on record: £9.59. I found said bowl in the Brighouse Wilkinsons as they seem to have stopped selling this brand of pure cheapness in the Lincoln branch. I managed to get a cable for my hard drive to show off the pictures from university to my parents and also enquired abut prices for emily's christmas present, which is starting to become worrying in it's lateness for delivery. I met my mum in sainsburies so she could give me a lift home, after buying a rather nice treat for myself, a bottle of Elderflower and Lime Kopperburg for a whole 10p more than I can purchase it in Morrisons.

Yesterday I got up quite a lot earlier as I'd made arrangements to meet with my old college friend Mat. A quick run down of the college friends:
Mat: Also known as Fat Man, my partner in crime.
Jack: The beloved gay best friend
Anna: As insane as ever is the only real way to describe her
H: real name "Heliconia", the gothiest goth I know
Laura: Best laugh award surely goes to her
Olivia: Unfortunately absent yesterday, as photogenic as they come
Michael: Well, Michael is just Michael. Horrifically unique, you would understand if you met him...

There were a few first years who I have never met before but we all certainly seemed to get on really well and it makes me wish I was still there to meet the next generation of street dwellers, but of course some must leave to allow the next generation their space to grow. I'll say one thing, the college itself has been improved massively with new and delicious foods and changes to the layout of the building itself. After a good natter, an hour or so at the local pub, a few reunions and a game of paper tennis we said goodbye and headed for my favourite shop in all the world, the friendly dragon. The Friendly Dragon is a wonderland (sorry, I know I'm repeating myself with this phrase, but at least it links with the title) of books, clothes, statues, mirrors, wall hangings, cutlery, goblets, tankards, jewellery, rather freakish underwear and all the things a young gothic woman could ask for to be entertained for hours, if not days on end. The owners or the shop are a sight unto themselves. The main owner, a man called Jon (no that's not a type error, that is how he spells his name) is about average height, with grey hair, stretched ear lobes, a blue goatee and usually leather or velvet clothes with giant new rock boots. His wife is all hooked nose and blonde haired witchiness and his daughter is pink haired, pierced and leather lovliness. I love every one of them and love the shop which I had not visited since before my birthday in August so you can imagine how excited I was to be going back. But me and Mat sat on the bus were chatting away and watching the scenery sluggishly move past at the highest speed the bus could reach; 10miles per hour, when suddenly everything went white. Every window was filled with the moving mass of a white-out blizzard with a mix of sticky snow, hail stones, and not the slightest hint of don't-worry-this-will-all-be-gone-in-an-hour-or-two. We did make it to the piece hall where the shop is, but I soon got a phone call from mum who was panicing saying "If you try and catch a bus back home you won't make it all the way" so she drove to pick me up instead of risking the 2 bus journeys home. I didn't get chance to look round everything I wanted to but I had a good old chat with the owners and got a book for Luke that he has wanted for a while.

That night was supposed to be my presentation evening for my A-Level results certificates and yearbook, but being that my old college is pretty much on a mountain, we decided it wasn't worth the risk and instead settled down to decorating the house. While we were going through the pile of cards, mum came upon one we hadn't opened yet that was addressed to me. We weren't sure who could have sent it but when I finally opened the envelope, it brought a tear to my eyes. You see, where my parents live is in a cul-de-sac full of old-peoples homes and we have one of the few semi-detached houses rather than he bungalows that the older members of the neighbourhood own. Throughout my lifetime I have always befriended these people from the next door neighbour-Mrs Bainbridge who has now moved onto a cared home right through to Tom, the kindly old gentleman who lived through the first and second world wars and died a few years ago aged about 92. My most recent friend in the cul-de-sac is Malcolm, who lived in the bungalow that was attached to where my uncle michael used to live. Malcolm used to work as a driving instructor and police officer so of course took an interest in my learning to drive and was always happy to give me advice whenever I saw him. We haven't spoken much but of course he knew I was off to university and had been as happy for me as I was myself when I got confirmation of my place at Lincoln University. When I received his card I wrote one back for him and took it over along with my mums card. He invited me in and we sat talking in his living room for hours! The story he told me last night was one of the most interesting stories I have ever heard and certainly made a difference to the usual banter the other residents of the cul-de-sac talk of... Not that I'm complaining, I would do anything for another afternoon of banter with Mrs Bainbridge, but her nurses are very particular about who visits and I think my mum is nervous about how I would react seeing where she is living at the moment. Apparently she's not the happiest of bunnies about having the oppertunity to do house work taken away from her, but she managed to get a bedsit with her Husband Wally. (I've never been able to call Wally "Mr. Bainbridge, just because his real name suits him so well, he really is a bit of a Wally!) But to get back to the original point, Malcolm was telling me all about his daughter who has been missing throughout his personal history many times and the story was just incredible. I admire his will power and the strength he has shwon his entire life to stay in contact with her so much. It just goes to show that if you listen to the ramblings of the older generation, you really can pick something up from what they tell you.

I hope the rest of my christmas holidays is as interesting as the story he told me!!

This girl is back in town!

See? Look at that? A simple lyrical manipulation and I've edited the title to fit today perfectly, you see, I came home for Christmas today! I had to go to my clinic appointment... or as Jacki, the technitian at my lecture theater called it... My diabetic MOT! Luckily they didn't keep me in for servicing like I thought they would, just gave me a good oiling.

Okay, enough with the bad car jokes. I was expecting the results to be really bad, especially when I heard other people were getting HBa1Cs of about 20%! (This number is supposed to be about 5 or 6, so 20 basically means you've almost died every day for the last 3 months. Not a very comfortable experience I'm sure.) My last result was 8.6%, but after the past 3 months of me being at university the number has jumped to 9.7%. I would have been in trouble but then again my mum and doctors understand how hard it is to look after yourself medically when you're being beaten from the inside out by bullies that you live with, so they let me off.

I don't think I mentioned earlier but on Monday I got my results back for the photography project I really struggled with. Yeah, I got another 3rd. Depressing but I sort of understand why as there was very little work in the work book as I didn't have a clue as to what to do until the very last week. The new project is called "The photographic essay" so basically we have to tell a story using photographs. This is good because as far as I can tell from the brief, I can use the images form the Snowflake Ball and say they're in the style of WeeGee. We finally got the video project finished and you can view it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ15yxhVths

I would have embedded it but I'm not overly sure how to do this without taking over the entire webpage. We're going to be getting that marked on Friday, but I won't be there so am going to have to ask one of the girls from my group ato ring me and tell me how we did. I don't really care if we did badly though, because I'm really proud of it and we spent a long time working on it.

Tomorrow I'm going to relax and enjoy being back at home with yorkshire water and then on Thursday I'm going back to my old college to visit all my old friends. Should be a really good day!! Ciao for now.

Stop crying your heart out

Now, I'm not a big fan of the X-factor, but living in a student pad means you can't go one day without accidentally overhearing a conversation about it or actually being made to watch the odd few minutes of the show, well today I got one of the more unfortunate cases of having to watch the show because I had just put my jacket potato in the microwave and the plate was too hot to take into my room. (The only method I have found for making jacket potato that has actually worked is to put a big glob of lurpack butter on top and then stick the potato and butter in the microwave for 15 minutes. The plate gets very hot and the butters gets burnt but the over-all effect is very delicious and much easier than having to wait for an hour while it's in the oven) So instead of taking my meal into my room which I would usually have done I had to eat on the breakfast bar watching the television. Now, don't get me wrong, Leona Lewis is a very talented young woman who can sing really well, what upsets me about her is that she sings all my favourite songs! Snowpatrol only released "Run" in 2004, only just 5 years ago and already she has re-released it as her own. Oasis' "Stop crying your heart out" was released in 2002 again less than 10 years ago! These songs are still massive and well known by their original artists, so surely with a voice like Leona's she should a) be singing songs from at least 20/30 years ago and b) be singing songs actually made for a female voice! It makes me so angry that her versions are becoming more liked than the originals because she is more famous and has added a touch of the "well loved" R'n'B style wailing that is so popular nowadays during the instrumentals of these songs. Sorry, I realise I'm being really opinionated here, but this does upset me that songs so recently released are already being taken over by these artists that are being thrown at us by Simon Cowell and his sheepish followers.

Anyway, over to today... The best day I have had in a while... I got up at 2:45pm! So wonderful to not have to get up and go somewhere in a horrific rush. I sat up in bed and read for a while, then meandered over to Emily's house to give her the stuff she left at my flat, then meandered back when I started getting hungry. I haven't really done much else but have been getting things ready to pack so I'm ready to set off home on tuesday. My makeup and insulin are packed, I just need to empty my laptop onto my memory card because I am giving my laptop to Luke so he has one to finish his dissitation on for his 3rd year and then I think I'm pretty much done having already sent a lot of my clothes off home with my mum when she visited yesterday. I am contemplating buying some fabric dye from Ruddocks tomorrow so I can dye one of my shirts black and wear it at Camel Club in Huddersfield. I finally got in contact with my best friend Kirsty (We've been friends since Reception class) and we have agreed to go out to the famed Huddersfield metal club together. It should be really good fun to catch up with her again as I haven't seen her since she moved to Wales and I moved to Lincoln. anyway, enough for tonight, I'm going to finish packing, wrapping presents and doing other teenage-girl things that need doing such as catching up on my beauty sleep. Ciao!

We're on fire making our way back from Mars

Bit of a long title today but it's from a very appropriate song. 100 years by Five for Fighting is possibly one of the most truthful love songs ever and is very fitting for the past 2 days as yesterday was mine and Luke's 3year 9month anniversary. I know it's not a very big one to most people but me and Luke still find it astounding how much time has passed since we came together and created the couple that we are today. The time period is a lot easier to understand when we look at pictures from Luke's year 12 prom, with his fairly short brown hair and cute young teenage face and my long dark brown hair and puppy fat face. We both look so different and I like to think we've grown massively since then! We spent last night together, as usual meeting in wetherspoons and making our way down to my appartment. We were originally planning on going to one of the local pubs to see Luke's landlord performing but decided against it due to tiredness/lack of people going/good food.

I made orange pepper stuffed with parmesan and cheddar cheese with chips and minced lamb and where as I quite enjoyed the meal, Luke still thinks there is a lot of room for improvement. I had to remind myself once or twice that I was cooking for Luke, not Gordon Ramsey. Wish he could remember the same! After that we sat watching an anime series that caught my eye a while ago called "Clannad" that we both seemed t enjoy quite a lot. Luke couldn't believe his eyes when after we went to do my laundry and I changed into my pyjamas before hand so I could wash the clothes I had been wearing. It really was funny when we walked past all the "goths", "emo" and "scene" kids stood outside the Mezz store so we could buy a bag of sweets to munch on. I thought my yellow dressing gown and bright red polka dot pyjamas looked quite good amongst all that black!

Mum came to visit again today, but more so she could go Christmas shopping than anything. You know, I think there should be a company that hires out kids of my age to show parents how to do christmas shopping, where to get all the good deals and what their kids are asking for in their christmas list. It's a good job me and Luke were helping mum out with my brothers list or he would have ended up with one game he wanted and about 10 that he either never heard of or are just too embarrassing to play, everyone knows a 13year old boy would not see the irony of receiving a "powerpuff girls" game for christmas. (Luckily though I do so understand mum was only kidding about this!) Honestly I think parents would actually pay for help in buying the correct electronic items for their sons and daughters without the hassle of having to find the games themselves. I might charge mum for the luxery next christmas!

And so I face the final cutain

Can't actually remember what song the title is from but I saw it on the Tom and Jerry movie years ago and it's majorly appropriate for today... Today we filmed the last few scenes for Shellshocked! I am no longer playing Kelly and we have all the footage needed to finish the movie. I'm really going to miss playing the character and the random moments I've shared with the film crew but I know we'll all stay in contact. The deadline for the film is January 11th so hopefully should be getting a copy before then. I really can't wait! Filming today was such a hassle though, with background noise coming from the cars and buses on the road and the trains going past on the line and of course people, but we apparently managed to get the sound nice and clear enough to hear. Then we went to the woods near by and filmed the romantic scene between Paul and Kelly. The scene was supposed to be us feeding ducks at a lake... but it took us half an hour to find any! A lot of coaxing was needed, especially as Matt (one of the crew) kept throwing stones in their general direction and scaring them away.

* * * * * * * * * *

5 hours, 3 trips to Jo and Dan's apartment, 1 bottle of Kopperburg, 1 carton of watermelon Rubicon, 1 trip to Morrisons, 1 trip to Mezz Store, 1 trip back home, 1 tin of rice pudding, 1 episode of Misfits, 1 episode of Rude tube, lots of videos on the internet and some shared file data later....

Well sorry about that, but do you see why my life has become so busy recently? I only went over to Jo and Dan's to get some footage I needed for my video work. But it was a good time. I think her friend Max may be lending me a disk that has fireworks and dreamweaver on! yay! I can make my own websites on this computer and remaster the language of CSS, HTML and Javascript which I began learning at A-Level. I gave Jo and Dan their christmas presents today which is one of the "things to do" crossed off my list, but of course I still have the other god-only-knows-how-many left to do before Tuesday. The thought of everything left is really quite daunting and I can't wait for Wednesday as it will mean I get some time to rest, relax and go back to a world where my mum cooks for me!

Random thought stemming from tiredness... you know I could probably make a rice pudding tin stack from all the empty ones I have lying around. I doubt the cleaners would love me but it would look quite cool. Plus, does cider count towards your 5-a-day? I hope so because that would give me an excuse to drink the stuff more often. (at £1.99 a bottle I need a damn good excuse. Maybe I could convert to brothers strawberry cider rather than my favourite Kopperburg Elderflower and Lime? Hmmm) I need to sleep. Badly. Goodnight world. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ella, I am not depressed anymore

ok, let me explain the title, because this is a title that is really important to me. A few years ago at Whitby Folk Week I was sat with my big group of friends in the Spa Pavilion for the night time ceilidh. I took a quick scour of the crowd to see if I knew anyone else there, when I noticed this lad sat with his mum looking really bored. I had had a little bit to drink so went up to him oozing drunkern confidence and said "Hi, you look depressed, I'm Ella". We ended up getting on really well and had a good night dancing and messing around, but unfortunately it was my last night at the festival, so I had to say goodbye that night. A week later he added me on msn and told me he had written a song about his time at the festival. He sent it to me and I couldn't believe... The song was about me! He's the lead singer in a band called "Scott Free" and they perform round their local city quite a lot. I absolutely loved the song and was so happy and proud of it... Unfortunately, Luke wasn't. To keep him happy I deleted all traces of the song so we could stay together. Since then, me and Callum (the singer) have stopped talking and Luke says he wouldn't be so bothered if I listened to it anymore, but of course I didn't have a copy of it anywhere having destroyed them all for him. But today I had some time to kill and was sat at a really fast computer so I decided to check my old email that I never use anymore and see what was in there for curiosity's sake, and what did I happen to find? My old friend from High school had found the song on his laptop and sent me a copy to my old email! I've just uploaded it onto my laptop and am so happy, I missed the song so much. Anyway, my title today is the name of that song and it's by a band called Scott Free in case anyone is interested.

Anyway, back to the past few days. I went to the Snowflake Ball on Monday and had a really wonderful time. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of me with all my friends yet as that'll be due to arrive at my parents house next Thursday, but I did capture some really stunning pictures of me and my friends seperately, which I may upload into a video for youtube but I haven't decided yet. The image at the top of the page is the top half of my outfit for the Snowflake Ball. (Admittedly a little photoshopping has been done to reduce red-eye and to bring out the details clearer) The outfit is not as posh as it look really. The top you can see came from Scope charity shop in Lincoln, and originated from Next, I got it for £4. The fascinator in my hair came from a shop on Steep Hill in Lincoln and cost £18, the second most expensive part of the outfit, and the makeup was all purchased from superdrug from various companies such as Barry M, GOSH, Rimmel, natural collections and even some white face paint to make the tinted moisturiser I borrowed from emily (by urban decay I think) match my skin tone a bit better. Getting ready took a long time but I think it was well worth it. I'll definitely put up the professional pictures of me and my friends when I receive them, but for now you'll have to do with this picture. But the Ball was amazing with a chocolate fountain and music blasting and taking loads of stupid photos and a fake snow fight before we went home!

Then last night, being Tuesday night, I decided to meet up with Charlotte. Me and Charlotte went to college together back in Huddersfield and she goes to the same university as Luke (Bishop Grosseteste, at the other end of Lincoln to me) and we haven't actually seen each other since being at college, so we decided to meet up last night, little did I know the whole of her halls of residents were out too. We had a fantastic time starting in Revolution bar and working our way along to ritzys where I bumped into Michael (the co-star), 2 girls from my course and a guy from my old block of flats. It was such a fun night and although I didn't actually get drunk I still really enjoyed myself.

Then I got a text message from Emily. "Please answer this even if I've just woken you up!", so I rang her to find out what was up. She told me there was a man outside her house and she'd had to call the police, could I get there as soon as possible? So I ran over to her house, thinking this guy was holding a knife or something really scary. Nope, turns out he was just a 35year old over weight bald man who had sat under her window smoking a cigerette and climbed over the wall into next doors garden when he realised he'd been seen. Who knows, he could sit there every night and be hiding the fact that he's smoking from his wife or something but he did nothing what-so-ever to threaten anyone in the house. Now, if this had been say midnight, I wouldn't have minded so much, but this is 2:30am! Emily was so freaked by non-threatening-smoking guy that she asked me to stay until she felt safe to go to bed... at 4am. I then had to walk home because she turned the heating off feeling too hot under her massive duvet, and I became freezing in my vest and coat so got back home and into bed at 4:30am. Then I had to get up at 8am to go for a meeting about my student finance. I was not amused to say the least.

Speaking of student finance, I have worked out one of the big reasons as to why I have not received any money... They never asked for my national insurance number until today! Now, if they had asked for it in May when I was originally filling out the form that wouldn't have been a problem, but I don't know where my National insurane card is and I don't know my number. So it's going to be January at the earliest before I get any money. Even when I do get some money, it's the wrong amount. They seem to be ignoring the change of circumstances form my parents have filled in to explain that my dad left his job last summer. I feel awful taking so much money from my parents all the time but there's not a lot we can do until Student Finance realise I need that money. I'm not the biggest fan of the company at the moment, as I'm sure you can imagine.

Anyway, filming. We finally got round to filming for my video course today and got 12minutes of Jo talking about her youtube videos. The documentary is going to be amazing. Tomorrow is the last day we'll be filming Shellshocked which is really sad because I have really enjoyed playing Kelly but I must admit I am really excited about seeing the finished product. We have the opening scene and a love scene to film tomorrow, neither of which should take more than half an hour tops to film and then it's all over for my part.

I'm going back to my parents house for Christmas on Tuesday. I can't wait!

Ooh I need your love babe

Yes of course I was eventually going to have to quote the world wide legend that is the simple Liverpudlian band, the Beatles. I was singing this all day and me and my mum were trying so hard to remember what song it was called... Turns out our effots were in vain as the song is actually called "8 days a week", which sort of makes sence. This is the song I will dance to as I dance for the first time in the arms of my one-day husband, yes you guess it, Luke!

And Mum was trying to guess the song too because she came to visit me today! She brought me lots of lovely things including my winter coat, gloves and MINCE PIED! Also I have the skirt I will be wearing for the snowflake Ball (If I am very adventurous, I may post a picture up from the ball tomorrow!), my CD's, the student finance forms I have to sign and my new O2 sim card, which can't be activated until I have wasted 25p calling them to activate my new sim. I have no credit on my old sim and so would be forced to top-up £10 to make a 25p phone call. Luckily Luke is also on O2 so I'm just going to use his phone to call them and ask to have the new sim unblocked... Then hopefully use £15 worth of calls and texts as that lot of £15 started half way through November, money making gits.

It was so nice to see mum again. She brought me Yorkshire tea bags so we sat and had a cup of tea together and munched on the really yummy gluten-free mince pies she brought. Then I tried on my entire outfit for the Ball tomorrow (minus the makeup). Wow, it looks incredible! I really can't wait. I have just spent almost 3 hours doing my nails now and have a lot of sympathy for all nail artists and technicians in the world because nail polish is not easy to work with. Finally I have a french manicure style look with my nails black and the tips sparkling silver. Unfortunately they look a bit odd because I cut my nails today but I am not starting again! I'm really hoping my make up won't take as long.

We found a shop that sells nose-studs that are smaller in mechanism than the one I have in at the moment, but the wire used is a lot fatter. I tried inserting one into my nose and failed miserably, but this of course means that now my nose hurts like a good 'un and I think has bled a little bit too, so I won't be able to take my stud out to get ready tomorrow, what an annoyance! But we also got some jewellery including a matching necklace, pair of earrings and bracelet all with purple beads and on a kind of silvery-black metal chain, very beautiful, very cheap and very me! I can't wait for tomorrow.

Mum has finally bought a present for her friend Casandera, but of course she's coming back on saturday to do a full shop round Lincoln to find more presents for people because Lincoln really is an ace shopping area! Unfortunately she keeps ruining what surprises she's going to get me for christmas, or so she says but I don't believe her in the slightest because she says that every year! I need to go to town at some point with something to get a certain two items to go with the other halves of my grandparents christmas presents, and I daren't say any more because they may be reading this! Might have to get a friend to help make one of them more personal, and don't know who I'm going to ask or anything, but we'll see if anyone fancies helping. Rather than going into the special café on the highstreet that does gluten free sandwiches, we went into café nero, mainly because neither of us were very hungry and I was after a Hot Chocolate Milano. They are so yummy and hot and comforting and delicious, I love them!

Speaking of hot chocolate, one of the new flatmates, Danny made me a hot chocolate today with marshmellows cut up and sprinkled on by Josh, another flatmate. Also they ahve both added me on facebook so we can talk more. I love living here so much, I'm so much happier than I was in my old flat. I forgot what it was like to feel human in your own home.

Hello there, and I'm so sorry

Yes, it's a Blink 182 song, but it fits the theme of the blog because I realise I haven't written for a few days and realise I have a few things to explain.

So starting Thursday. After we had finished filming for "Shellshocked", we all went back home. I checked my bank balence and realised my disability living allowance money had finally gone into my account, meaning of course that I had no excuse to NOT go to the Christmas market. I tried contacting Emily through text messaging but she never answered her phone. I was just starting to wonder what was going on when I got a phone call from a guy called Jack who I know through Emily and Craig that she had left her mobile at the Odeon cinema and Craigs phone had run out of batteries. So feeling quite sorry for myself, I got talking to Michael (Paul in Shellshocked). He said he'd been wanting to go too but that none of his friends were available, so I offered to go with him instead. In hindsight I am so glad things worked out how they did because I had such a beautiful night. Walking to the top of steep hill, I think Michael just wanted to show off about how much fitter than me he is as he ended up giving me one end of his scalf as he pulled the other end. When we finally reached the top we walked over to the cathedral, and what a view! The tree may have been short and stumpy, but it only emphasised the vast size and beauty of the cathedral. Now, I am not a religious person in the slightest and don't usually care much for anything to do with religion, but even I could appriciate the glory this building holds when it is all lit up with the tree in front and the velvety blackness of night swirling in the background, STUNNING!

Then we hit the crowds. Not wanting to walk into any of the stalls in case that was all we would see again, we followed sounds and smells to the food section of the market, purchasing a mulled wine each (of course) and at a fudge bar I bought 100g of "rocky road" fudge for us to share. We followed the crowd, looking in an occasional jewellery stall, with Michael of course telling me all about his girlfriend and the trip they are planning to Paris. After finding our way out of the castle walls, we were ushered along the road and found a stall selling roast chestnuts from over an open fire. It took me a while to figure out how to get into them but when I did... Let's just say I've been converted to be a chestnut lover! They were divine. We had such a wonderful time, and then ended the night in HMV. Not the most exciting place to finish, but really nice. The place was deserted so we walked down the movie aisle and just gave our thoughts on all the movies that were there. When we finally walked home, Michael had to show me where to walk to get back, going past Debenhams I think. I say I think because I wasn't really paying attention, the lights above my head were a seething canopy of twinkles and glitter and sparkles to put a twinkle in the eye of any person, not just a young child. It was a night well spent.

Yesterday was the first day I was to see Luke for about a week, so I was really excited about seeing him again, even if it meant waiting an hour. Emily was trying to convince me to go to her house to wait, but I had a book packed and was looking forward to a freezing cold bottle of Elderflower and lime cider from Wetherspoons. When we left Thomas Parker House (my lecture hall), one of the girls from my course called Lauren said she didn't want to go home yet, so I said would she like to join me for a drink? I gave her a well deserved hug when she said yes and we walked to Wetherspoons. It was so much fun! We talked about everything and anything and I was quite sad when she said she would go home, but she left early so she didn't make herself imposing on me and Luke, silly I thought but such a nice thing for her to do. I can see myself making good friends with her.

So when I met Luke, we went to HMV (again!) to find movies to watch. This is actually the homework for my video part of the course so Luke likes to buy a lot of DVD's as we are well expecting ourselves to live together when we are older, we sort of share the cost of things like DVD's and CD at the moment. We bought Ghostbusters 1 and 2 because Luke was horrified when I said I had only seen the first one. We also bought Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler and I have to say I loved it! Then we bought a DVD from a list of "movies you must see" as recommended by my dear old dad. The movie is called "The Deer Hunter" and we didn't get chance to watch that last night as it is 3 hours long. We're going to save this for next time we're together. So last night was really good fun. But this morning was a bit of a tragedy on my part. I thought I had lost the presents I have bought for my mum, brother and Luke. That would have amounted to £60 worth of christmas presents. I had a good old cry about this, realising I would have to re-buy all three presents. But then I looked in my "extra safe paper place"... The box my Canon 450D camera came in... and guess what I found? So of course I am saved the horrific money I would have had to spend... and have instead used it to buy make up and things that will be very useful for the Snowflake Ball on Monday. Super drug were doing a 3 for 2 mix and match offer, so I now have 2 more products by GOSH (the face base and some beautiful lipgloss that sparkles blue and apparently makes your teeth look whiter) and some dazzling glitter for the eyes by Barry M in petrol colour. These are all things I have wanted to buy for a long long time so definitely not a waste of money! I also bought the most beautiful fascinator for my hair and so my outfit is complete. The ticket money which I owed to Emily has come from the very generous pockets of my grandparents who sent a "welcome to your new flat" card with £20 inside, so I gave the money to Emily to pay for the ticket.

Now I shall stop blathering on about Balls and other such things and talk about business. My video project. We have been having real issues with this project, trying to work out how to make it work and who we were going to use. After a number of different tried... and failed idea suggestions, we have finally been given permission to interview my friend Jo (http://www.youtube.com/user/mojohasmind) about her videos on youtube and pictures that she puts on a blog on this site. I can imagine the documentary is going to be really visual and exciting and can't wait to make it!

So finally, tonight I will be unpacking EVERYTHING and tidying my room for the iminent arrival of my mum tomorrow morning. I can't wait for her to arrive and although I know she wants to take me to the beautiful café that does gluten free sandwiches in Lincoln, I'd much rather take her for a Hot chocolate Milano in Café Nero, possibly with a nice splash of carrot and corriander soup on the side, we shall see.

I love you, I have loved you all along

Todays blog is just to say I have Luke over tonight and I haven't seen him since Tuesday morning when I was a little out of it from tiredness. We are spending the night watching films and just being together. Yesterday was really good fun at the Christmas market, but I'll write more about that later. TTFN

Wake me up when September Ends

Again I have spent an entire day playing Kelly. We had to redo a few of the scenes from last time because the lighting and sound was bad, but it didn't matter, we improved them dramatically as it always helps to actually know your lines when acting! We also did the really sad "goodbye" bit where Paul says goodbye to Kelly and gives her the necklace she wears for the rest of the film and the crying in this scene was genuine. I didn't know I was so good at acting crying. It probably helped that we did it just after the break-up scene so all the sad ones were together. All we have left now is the picnic scene and the resteraunt scene (more crying). It wasn't actually as awkward as I thought it would be acting all in love with Michael and he gave me a hug when I started crying which will look really good in the final edits. Today, after one of the scenes I had to get changed so went to the bathroom and put my necklace in a jewellery box so he could give it to me as Paul. When I came back into the room, he was stood in exactly the same place as he had been for one of the scenes, in the same stance with the camera in the same position, but wearing nothing more than his boxer shorts and a pair of socks. I couldn't believe he did the whole scene so seriously dressed like that, I was crying with laughter!! Apparently that's going to be one of the deletes scenes on the final DVD. At least he was wearing fairly covering boxers, although I couldn't tell you what was on them, I didn't look that long!

Emily has been trying to get me to go to the Lincoln Christmas market tonight, and so has Michael now as he'll be there too. I wasn't going to go due to lack of funding but my disability living allowance money went in early so I now have quite a bit as a safety net, so I may go and see if I can find any cheap but thoughtful gifts for people. Mum and Dad and Brendan and Luke have all been catered for in the Christmas presents department as have 2 of Emily's housemates Jo and Dan. I have to buy Emily's present and one for Gypsy, Matt, my Uncle Kevin and My Grandparents, although I already have their presents in half and I won't be finding the other half at the christmas market!

It's my first year of university in the city of Lincoln, I have nothing to do tonight as I'm between projects in Photography and don't have anything to do in video, my boyfriends laptop is broken so I wont be talking to him and I'm bored. Yes, Christmas market time it is!!

Children grown having some laughs

For those less knowledgable, the title is from "Dakota" from Stereophonics. My new flatmate Danni is playing it next door and the line made me smile because that's what I plan on doing tonight. I'm going to be meeting Emily at the local campus bar, the Shed to drink cocktails that can hardly be classes as boozy beverages because of the horrific lack of booze in them, but they still taste night. They're called triples, but of course the spirits in that place are so watered down that no-one ever gets drunk. But they're cheap, taste nice and often look pretty too, so we like it. With my general lack of funding recently though, I think I'll be going for the more chistmassy style drinks I very rarely drink because they contain milk and milk coagulates if fizzy pop is then drunk on top of such drinks. So Bailies and cream it is for me tonight!

I had been told that I would be needed to play Kelly again today fairly early, but as that was canceled, I pretty much had the day off. When I say pretty much, having expected to be filming all day I had to order my swine flu injection for the ungodly hour of 9:45am, an hour that should never ever exist, especially in the frosty land that is winter! But I had the injection, and it hurt a lot less than my usual insulin injections. (Did I forget to mention I'm type 1 diabetic?) unfortunately though, I got a bad headache from the liquid so went to sleep for most of the day. My arm hurts quite a bit now, but no more than the usual flu injection causes. Next Wednesday is going to be my "Cerverix cancer" injection, as my nurse insists on calling it, because of course every doctor and teacher in the world is wrong to call that part of the female anatomy a "cervix" aren't they? *rolls eyes* and after that is finished I'll be ordering the last lot of injections I'm due... or overdue for my last lot of booster injections and HOPEFULLY they won't think of anything else they haven't yet administered.

I got a little further with my unpacking today which is nice, and even more nice is having all my kitchen utensils in the same room!! Ah the joy of cooking without having to walk up and down a corridor to get all the tings I might need. The lack of a dishwasher is a little anoying but as yet hasnt upset me too much. But as soon as I'm in town next I'll be buying some dishwasher tablets and see if I can fix the horrific smell and stale water all stuck in the thing.

If I remember, my next blog may have a bit of a review in it, because I have just re-fallen in love with a book I am reading at the moment by Malorie blackman called Naughts and Crosses. It really is excellent. But I haven't finished it... yet. I know todays blog has been really short, but I would like to shower and get dressed before going out tonight because no-one wants to see me turning up to the shed in my pyjamas! TTFN

I'm at a place called vertigo

So, I've finally moved out, a week after I requested to do so. I left quite a rude message behind for my old flat mates as well so there's absolutely no chance of going back. I now live in a 4 bedroom apartment with 1 girl and 2 boys. The girl is called Joanna, she's from Newcastle and she seems nice enough. One guy called Danni from Leicster, not the sort of person I would typically make friends with but again seems ok to live with and a final guy called Josh who disappeared before I could get a real idea of what he's like. Unfortunately, the flat already seems to have formed into its own sort of shape and so I'm going to have to fit in as the quiet one no-one really notices, but I don't mind. That's better than living with my old flat mates anyday! And besides, I have friends outside of the flat so am not expecting miricles from these people, just to be treat like a normal everyday human being.

I now have a cupboard, in the kitchen, WITH A SHELF!! I have a WHOLE shelf in the fridge and of course the usual drawer in the freezer. I haven't actually unpacked yet as it took me 2 hours to move my stuff over here and I am really really tired! Will have to start and unpack eventually.

Handed in the project yesterday. It was completed and on time and the responce from my lecturer was really quite positive. She picked up immediately on the lack of white balencing I had done in the pictures, but said so long as I mentioned it in the evaluation (which I have) then it shouldn't matter. Fingers crossed I get more than a third this time!

Stayed at Lukes last night which was really good. We sat up watching "Have I got news for you". I felt kind of sorry for the guest they had working with Paul Merton because they had clearly brought him onto the show to be awful to him. Sad but I guess that's comedy for you nowadays. Think I prefer QI though. If only someone would convince Mr.Merton to become a star of QI as well then it would be the perfect show! Luke woke me up on his way out to placement though at 5am, I'm so tired especially after trying to read the chapter about how to critique images.

Just been chatting to my new flatmates and they seem a lot better than my old ones!! Josh and Jo are really nice. We were talking about how my old flatmates used to treat me and they said they were surprised I lasted so long in that flat. They are a lot more relaxed about living and I can see myself getting on pretty well with them.

Things are looking up :)

Sunday Bloody Sunday

The title seems to fit in very well with my feelings today. Tomorrow is the deadline for our photography project and although I am quite a bit closer to finishing the damn thing, I am sevearly lacking in prints of pictures and final pieces. This of course means a trip to Snappy Snaps at 9am as they have one of the slowest printers known to man and therefore will take up to an hour to print off 30images size 6inx4in. Then of course the final pieces must be in a minimum size of 10inx10in and as I doubt very many places actually sell frames of this size I have gone for the simpler method of purchasing 2 frames 10inx12in from Wilkinsons. Muc easier to handle and have printed. In all honesty, the research still hasn't been written up, but only because the images I am looking at, although visually good are boring as hell to write about. Everyone knows Hanz Holbeins Ambassadors and the weird shape at the front or it wouldn't be famous. Someone has done a picture of a storm in a teacup, very fun and interesting but sat on just a plain wooden background has all the interesting points taken out. Still, it could be worse... I could be writing about pears on draining boards.

Today has been nice. Me and Emily spent the day looking round for makeup ideas and for a dress for her for the Snowflake ball... I will at this point point out we have yet to buy tickets. We might not be able to go, but at least we are going to look good! Looking at the dress ideas Emily has been trying on, I'm slightly worried I will be looking rather over-dressed with my long, corseted skirt and holter necked top against her short and stylish club wear and massive stilettos. But we both have men to take us to the ball and neither are looking any further for our princes than our escorts so we should have a fantastic time!

I've found the city of Lincoln really quite lacking in terms of christmas lights and a general Christmassy mood, but I feel this would be massively improved if I could find someone to go on the Ice-rink with me! I shall, however, be quite happy to settle for looking round the Christmas market with Emily and her friends on thursday. Also a chocolate advent calendar would help towards the general Christmas feel too... Wilkinsons? yes, I think so too!

So, the cleaners have promised me that tomorrow will be the day I can finally give a very rude hand gesture to my very rude old flatmates and move into my new flat. I think I'm more excited about the move because it will allow me to unpack than to not see the people I live with now because I believe two of them haven't been around this weekend and the one left isn't so bad really. Of course I think that now, but the second the other two come home I will probably be over the moon at the prospect of leaving them all in my past and moving very swiftly towards my new present. I'll be really annoyed if they say I can't move in tomorrow because tomorrow will be a whole week since I first complained and asked to be moved, so if it doesn't happen tomorrow then more complaining will consequent.

Seems as if my life is on hold today and will really start again tomorrow. Really can't wait to see my mummy next weekend though! The idea of Yorkshire tea, crackers and cream cheese and of course my lovely, long, warm, (matalan) black coat are enough to have my mouth watering. Oh and of course a nig big hug from my mummy!!

Someone tell me how I feel

In case anyone is wondering, todays title is from "the lonliness of a tower cab driver", or as it has become more well known "one day like this" by Elbow. My dad introduced me to this band months ago and of course this is their most famous song, which was invariably played at my 18th birthday. I found the video for the song on youtube and it made me smile with happy memories from that party so I thought I would place a little joy in a few more hearts as they remembered the wonderful night of September 18th 1009.

Today my thoughts are slightly concentrated around Mark Hewis, a freelance film maker who came into our university to do a lecture on freelancing. I found him very fun and casual, some of his work was fantastic and sparked a lot of curiosity on my part, but some really didn't agree with me and I guess that's how most freelancers affect everyone really. But I'm not thinking about his work, I am thinking about a piece of advice he gave to us all. His piece of advice was to buy a box, and whenever we have a piece of inspiration or a wonderful idea for a project, to write it down and put it in the box so we remember it later on. This is the point where I tell you I really wish I listened to this advice better and had acted upon it last night because I had a wonderful story to write on this blog and I've completely forgotten it. Lo and behold, this is life.

Back to the title then. I think it sums up very well the atmosphere of today. I'm not sure whether I am happy, sad, angry, tired or just feeling like I really need a holiday, but I think the latter is winning over. I am absolutely over the moon because I have finally ordered the skirt I am planning to wear for the snowflake ball on 7th December. It is a beautiful piece of workmanship for a lot less than I was willing to pay, which of course has put a huge grin on my bank account. Then I felt the lovely, relaxing feel of my bank account almost crying with joy when it realised my mum would be feeding it a nice, big, fat, disability living allowance cheque and so it is about to gain a lot more weight than it has been living on over the past few weeks. Unfortunately the grin it had set in place then wilted once more, when I heard student finance are messing around asking for my mum and dads evidence of how much they earn a year AGAIN. It could be January before I receive any money from them, something that will be a pain for where I live and those I love and want to give Christmas presents to, I still need to purchase the box-set I have promised Emily, find a little something extra for Luke, his family and my grandparents.

I seem to have caught myself in a time rut. That is, time is moving far too fast for my photography project which is still unfinished, but too slowly for my wanting to go home and rest from all the frantic work I have been doing. The next project I am going to do, I will not bother about what goes in the book, but every time I have a thought on the project I will write it down in the hopes I will receive more marks than I am likely to receive for this piece of work. However, I am fairly confident my images are of a lot better quality this time so shouldn't loose marks on that front. However, the quantity of images could be a slight issue where marks are concerned. I have the images I need, but only have about 30 images overall. I do have a few more ideas for images, but the weather will not permit such images to look good. Another problem on this issue is I have already packed my memory card reader in anticipation of moving and can't actually remember where I put it. Not feeling overly clever at this moment in time.

Last night I had quite a nice surprise from Sun Wen. As I went to pour myself some cereal, I met her in the corridor outside my room and we stood talking. I told her I was really quite tired and not feeling particularly on top of the world because of this. She looked very worried but I told her I would be fine and would see her later. About 5 minutes after re-entering my room and sitting at my laptop, I heard a shy little "tap tap tap" at my door. So I went to see who it was and there was Sun Wen. She smiled when I said hi and held out her hand to reveal a beautiful, big, shiney red apple. "I've brought you an apple. Keep eating!" She said before waving to me and going back into her room. It made me smile a lot. I'm really going to miss her and BaoBao when I move out but I know it's the right thing to do.

Craig and Emily have gone to the Cathedral today to look round. They invited me but I really am too tired to do much right now and really do have to finish my work. (This blog is the ultimate method of procrastination.) The three of us went out together to the campus Tower Bar to meet with 3 of Craigs friends. Unfortunately Emily had forgotten her passport and left it at her mums house so me and Emily had to stay on campus as they don't really ID here. We finally have proof that The Shed (another of campus' bars) actually do water down their spirits. The Shed sell a variety of cocktails which me and Emily like to sample which are called "Shed Trebles", three shots of alcohol topped with a mixer. We drunk 3 of these trebles before getting a jug of the most delicious alcoholic drink I have ever tasted. By the end of it, emily was getting rather giddy and I didn't feel a thing (alcohol related). No wonder the booze there is given out so easily.

And now, I shall finally stop procrastinating and actually do some work...

..... This work really is boring you know T_T

3 boys and a camera!

Today we did the first bit of filming for the 3rd year video project I am working for. The film is going to be called Shell-shocked, about a man coming back from the war in Afghanistan with a serious case of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I play his lovely girlfriend "Kelly" who basically calls him inconsiderate and takes constant jabs at him for not talking to her enough. I love playing the part and the lines are amazing, if a little hard to remember. Today we shot the home scenes in a beautiful apartment in Witham Warf, the really expensive pent houses in Lincoln. The bed was beautifully warm, soft and cozy and I'm the only one who got to be in it. Kellys boyfriend, Paul is played by a guy called Michael who I only just met today and would not let me stop laughing in between scenes! I have never seen anyone dance in such a silly way, it was really good that we got on so well together because the next time we will be filming will be the more romantic scenes.
I know I usually use a song quotation or lyric for the titles of my blogs, but this was said by Sophy (The manager) when Lee (director), James (camera man) and Michael (Plays Paul) walked into the bedroom together to film a very basic scene showing the depression of Paul, I honestly can say they were in there for ages and we heard some interesting noises, so when Sophy said "they're 3 boys and a camera", we and Matt (sound man) could not stop laughing! Excellent fun.

The only bad bit about today was receiving the text message from Sophy asking me to bring a few changes of clothes (to symbolise multiple days). Me and her have been communicating via. the university email and I suddenly seemed to stop receiving her emails, so I had thought we either weren't going to be filming or they had found a new Kelly. So when I suddenly get a text today saying "can you bring a spare change of clothes and some pyjamas?" I got really scared! But all was ok because I have finally taken the bull by the horns and put some new credit on my phone so I managed to get there with plenty of time to spare. I'm hoping no-one unexpectedly decides I need to do anything this weekend, I plan on catching up on some sleep and finishing off my photography project! True I got the pictures I wanted, but I only have 20 pictures in total, so could do with taking a few more.

Tonight Emily, me and a few of Emily's friends (Craig, Jack and some others) will be going on a club crawl through Lincoln so again we will probably end up drinking semi-lethal amounts of booze through the night and I will end up arriving to my video lecture in the morning with a rather impressive hang-over. If no. 27's flat party is anything to go by, Ozone (greek vodka) does not react well with my head and I'd rather not be living off pain killers again! I am so tired, I'll probably comatose this weekend, ah the joyous feeling of sleep when one is truely shattered.

p.s. I won't be moving out until Monday lunch time at the earliest! The cleaners have not even thought about starting to clean the new room because of room inspections. *sigh*

Painting with all the colours of the wind

So I finally did the photoshoot and if all images are in focus (Which I do believe they are) then I have quite a few really good ones to hand in at the end of the project (Monday, eek!). After the shoot, me and some of the other girls who were in the studio did a little mini personal photoshoot ourselves, with me acting as photographer of course. It was only after the shoot that I finally learnt where the flash is on my beautiful Canon EOS450D camera! So unfortunately none of the pictures were on my camera, but I'll know where the button is for next time. Yes, I did manage to find a soft toy for the shoot. It has not got the nicest fur but it has a huge smile and very bright eyes and only cost me 50p, a much improved price on the £20 for the perfect rabbit.

Speaking of prices making my bank account smile, Emily sent me a link to a website yesterday at about 1:30am, (and I loved it so much I was still up looking through the site at 2:45am!) The website is called the "Goth-Shop" and it sells everything from jackets to prom dresses. Me and Emily have agreed we will go to the winter ball together, escorted or not, and cleverly (not) decided on what our makeup would look like before we got our outfits. This is where I tell the world I love charity shops. I found the most beautiful corset style halter-neck top in a charity shop for only £4! add that to the skirt I found on this "goth-shop" page and my entire outfit is going to cost no more than £50! People should shop more in charity shops, they're worth the time and effort when you stumble upon something like that.

This point lets me slide quite smoothly unto more explinations. If we are going to be talking about cliques such as goths, then I definitely fit into that label with my black hair, pale skin and a love of metal and classical music very few others understand. However, when I first came to Lincoln, I had never actually seen "The Nightmare Before Christmas" or even "Coraline", two of Pixars finest works I may add. So of course Emily took that as a means to title me "worst goth ever!" In a very comicbook guy style, meaning she has ALSO taken it upon herself to make me a better goth, therefore showing me "The nightmare before Christmas", allowing me to drag her into all goth shops I do find and applauding Luke for showing me Coraline. (Other such films we have enjoyed together include: When Harry met Sally - with Emily speaking all the lines over the movie, The Lost Boys and possibly Van Helsing, but at that time Dan and Jo still lived in the house a lot and we ended up spending the entire film talking to them)

Anyway, I have been told I am allowed to move out of the room I am living in at the moment and move into another one not too far away, but far away enough that I never have to look my flatmates in the face again (because this action does create a bad sence of nausea in anyone from the female gender who is not as spoilt as they). I was hoping I could move out today but alas this has been seen as not possible as I chose inspection week to move and the cleaners have not yet finished cleaning my new room. Then again, I look round my room and realise I'll probably be stealing a morrisons trolley to get everything from apartment A to apartment B.

*slight pause as Ice-cream tub is placed back in freezer before my stomach literally becomes an ice-creamed black hole*

On an incredibly happy note, my grandpa has put money into my bank account now bringing the total to a high enough number that I can pay the rest of the money for the San Fransisco trip. With the photographic side of the course we apparently go abroad once a year, 1st year is San Fransisco, 2nd year is New York and 3rd year is Venice (must go to this one!)so we can view other galleries, meet artists, take pictures of a different country and, erm, well... Be tourists. I am very excited about these trips as the most adventurous I have ever been was visiting my Uncle in Canada, not complaining but it was six years ago now and as wonderfully amazing as the holiday was, one can't really enjoy a country to its fullest when being new to the teenage years. I am really hoping we get to see the Goldengate bridge.

Still no word from Jessica, the girl who is sorting out our video project this time. The deadline is in a few weeks. Oh dear.

We kissed on the corner and danced through the night

Ok, before we go any further, I need to explain who Luke is. Luke is my boyfriend and very possibly "THE ONE". We met in Feburary 2006 at a birthday party and started going out the following month. Let me tell you, if this is love I never want it to end. We both have simplistic dreams in life mainly involving educating children whether that be our own or a classroom full, a medium sized house and a car each, only so we don't have to argue over what music to listen to and when. The relationship started as a long distance one with about 130 miles seperating us, and with me entering university we changed the miles from that big scary 130 to a mear 10. We do often have arguments about when we see each other with him being in his 3rd and hardest year of university and me only in my first but it works out quite well. He does all the typical boyfriend stuff; insists on paying for lunch, making sure I'm in a taxi after dark and spending ridiculous amounts of time on msn when we are not seeing each other generally chatting and I like to think I do the typical girlfriend stuff back; eat the food he buys, ignores his taxi obsession and looks through his essays to check the english before he hands them in. But then when looked at closer, he does so much more that doesn't usually become important until husband-dom. I can always rely on him trying his hardest to get to my diabetic appointments, if just to hold my hand and whisper that everything will be ok. He looks after my little brother while my mum sorts out my low blood sugars, he didn't even freak when I had a panic attack from an unfortunate accident involving a party popper new year 2008. In fact the only bad thing would be him telling me off for planning what engagement ring I want him to give me, but a girl can dream can't she?

Days gone by
Things haven't been so great recently. The royal Mail is really starting to upset me now. I'm expecting a new sim card for my phone which will be contract so I will actually have credit, but has this been delivered? No, course not. General lack of phone usage has been a bit of a nuisence, not because I am a typical teenager who needs to spend half her lifes savings on text messaging a week, but because the other people in my video group seem to have a habit of skiiving off every lecture, meaning I can't plan with them as they generally like to keep quiet until the day of the lecture when they ask me what we should do. So of course stress levels over this have been fairly high. Not to mention the photography side of the course! It has taken me 4 weeks to come up with a good project base for "fascinating objects" because the brief is one of the worst ever. But I finally have an idea as I mentioned in the last blog. Unfortunately finding the needed objects has not been the easiest of things to do. I found a toy rabbit that was absolutely perfect with the correct eyes and smile, but a very unfriendly price tag of £20! With a tiny amount of £13 in my bank account, I'm not wasting my last chance at buying food on a toy bunny rabbit. Unfortunately, Lincoln has few charity shops all together so I have not been able to find a cheaper substitute and I have the studio booked for tomorrow. I guess it'll have to be a "make do and mend" photoshoot.

On a lighter note, I have finally decided enough is enough and have applied to move into a new flat! The new flat is again miles from the enterance, but is on the ground floor and only has 4 residents. The people seem lovely and the view from the window is a little patch of grass rather than a big building site. Actually now I think about it, it will be perfect for picnics in summer so I can make excellent use of the picnic set my great aunt and uncle gave me as a congratulatory present for getting into university. I'm excited about getting to know my new flatmates and getting away from the girls I live with now, but I will very much miss seeing Gu Yin Bao and Sun Wen (the chinese girls from my flat). Life will be getting a lot easier I expect!

Today, we had a breather from being hard working, ill students and treat ourselves to a day of fun. I wasn't particularly impressed with New Moon and think Kristin Stewerts acting has little to be said for, but was glad that the director is still sticking with the original plot line of the book which is a nice change from other films changed from books, such as Queen of the Damned and of course the tragic attempt at filmising Harry Potter. But the day was made a lot better looking down the cinema aisle to see my group of six all sat eating salty popcorn and sharing sweets like we do this every week. After the film we went to "playzone", a childs soft play gym which many of the population have not entered since being about 7. The slides were exhilerating, the obstacles brought back thrilling memories of being a child and the netting added a new kind of fun to travelling around without accidentally finding your teeshirt round your neck, exposing body parts that should not be exposed and yet still trying to arrive at the desired destination without a shattered limb. Such an adreniline rush, which was then added to with a bad case of brain freeze because the place sells Slush puppy, again a child hood pleasure!

With the time now being 2:03am and me needing to arise at 9am I think it's time for me to say adieu and get some sleep before the dark circles under my eyes become any darker.

I fell in love with the girl at the rock show

Ok, I have some explaining to do. Names keep cropping up of people and friends and what-not, so I shall explain who everyone is now so there is no more confusion.
Emily:
We were schedualed to go for a "Welcome Talk" to welcome us into university at something like 1:30pm. However, having only really met the girls in my flat, I agreed to go shopping with them and by the time we got back, the welcome talk for my group was well and truly over. Being teenagers we thought, oh whatever and went into one much later. I sat next to Emily thinking she looked the least likely to judge me immediately for who I was. It was when the guy at the front said "welcome to the journalism welcome talk, can we take a register please?" that I realised I really wasn't supposed to be there. I whispered this to Emily and realised we were probably going to get along fine when she silently laughed her head off. The rest of the talk was spent laughing at the lecturer at the front giving the worst welcome speec I have ever heard and so we left in high spirits. Then was the legendary "headphone disco" where me and Emily almost literally bumped into each other again and spent all night flicking between the channels and doing mad dancing followed by lots of drinking and terrible singing that managed to vacate the back of the Tower Bar of everyone except us. Since then, we've been pretty much best friends. We eat cherry flavoured... anythings, we talk a lot, watch a lot of movies, eat a lot of junk food and pretty much know everything about each other. She invited me to live in her house after the first few weeks of university, but it seems I am stuck in this luxurious hellhole for this year at least. I love Emily to pieces even if she can be very rude about music that is not to her taste, but like she says, I am the worst Goth in the world.

Matt:
Her even ruder housemate, often can be found wandering round in a rather camp night gown, wearing a rather camp amount of styling gel in his hair and slavering his face with Emily's foundation in a rather camp way. I'd've thought he was gay too. He's fun to talk to when bored, fun to laugh at when he's failing at chugging beer from a funnel and even funnier to scare, but we won't go into that night at Walkabout...

Jo and Dan:
I would write about these two seperately, but I don't really know them seperately. They are the sort of couple who make other people in a couple horribly jeleous. They do everything together including eating, sleeping and probably breathing... Although I have not found any strong evidence to proove the last one yet. Jo is one of the quirkiest girls alive who fills her world with fairy lights, animation, green hair dye and of course Dan. Dan is really rather strange who also fills his world with animation, acting in Jo's many different videos, trying to be funny, being Sarcastic and of course Jo. I have never seen one of these two without the other for more time than it takes to use the bathroom.

SunWen and BaoBao:
The two Chinese girls in my flat and I swear they could give Gordon Ramsey a run for his money, they cook the most delicious food ever and also the most healthy. They are always smiling, always trying to improve their English and as of recently Baobao is working at teaching me to speak Chinese (I'm a slow learner!) I would do anything for these girls and it always makes me smile when I see them happy or with friends or talking to their family who of course still live in China.

Hannah, Shanah and Sarah:
The English girls in my flat. Shanah and Sarah are definitely sheep following Hannahs almighty rein over the apartment, but they are a lot more polite and a lot easier to get on with than their rude, two-faced, spoilt brat of a leader, Hannah. As you can tell, I am certainly not one of the sheep, although I do pretend to be around them just to make my life a little easier.

Today.
I really haven't done much today in the means of productivity, although the hour I spent in Morrisons has to be said was quite an achievement on my part. Trying to purchase less than £20 worth of food when it also has to be gluten-free is not an easy thing to do but I managed it and have to say the lack of need for pasta was a great help.

I spent most of the day checking up on money. Canon owe me £50 cash back from a deal on an EOS 450DSLR I bought (it's beautiful!) and apparently I haven't heard anything from them because the application for the £50 takes up to 28 working days. Student finance, who still ahve my birth certificate, have said it may be up to 4 weeks before I receive a penny of my student loan which really is quite upsetting. I should be receiving a new, and fairly cheap sim card for my phone by the end of the week, that is if Royal Mail have got over their little hissy fit about machines and what not and start actually doing their jobs properly.

My biggest worry was about the video project we have to have completed by 20/11/09:
Make a documentary about a persons life. They must be interesting and not a student. At first we were going for a glamour model who is known by one of the girls in our group but she is currently holidaying in France. Then we thought we had got our break, another of the girls was comissioned to photoshoot the Lily Allen! Unfortunately security was far too tight and this was not possible. So instead we are going to ask a photographer if we can do the documentary on him. We'll ahve to see how it goes.

I went for a job interview with one of the companies controlling the temporary "Lincoln on Ice" Ice-rink yesterday and didn't get the job. On the downside I missed the chance to work for £6 an hour, on the upside I won't be missing Cristmas with my family which is one prospect I was dreading.

So things to do are sort out the Maoam wrappers, clothes strewn, books bomb of a room I live in and try and find an innocent looking cuddly toy in a charity shop for my next lot of work for photography. Also I need to learn my lines to play Kelly. She is a character created by a 3rd year student doing the same course as me and is the main character of a 20minute film about the shell shock eaction of a soldier returning from Afghanistan. The script is excellent, the camera angles I can imagine will look stunning and I can't wait to start filming!

Now I shall go and work on feeling better. Tata for now.

The beginning of the rest of my life

Ok, so this is a little late for the start of the rest of my life as the rest of my life started in September. My name is Ella, I'm 18 years old, I'm diabetic, have coeliac disease, an underactive thyroid and am very heavily involved in the folk scene... Or was until my education became more important.

I recently started at the university of Lincoln studying contemporary lens media, a fancy way of saying photography and video with a little history to make us seem brainier. (Surprisingly, the history side of things has started to pick up now after our initial introduction into the subject, where the lecturer went on to fill the 2 hour time slot he gets a week talking about pictures of trains. Nice for a four year old boy who likes trains, not so much for a student who can not paint for toffee and regularly has to catch trains and invariably hates the damn things.)

Sorry, I didn't start this to complain about trains. Why did I start this I hear you ask? Well I tried to start a diary of what university was like, but failed. Miserably. The second reason is all down to geography. My parents stay in constant contact with me of course (every girl needs her mummy and daddy), but also I have many other family members who are forever badgering poor old mum about how I'm getting on. Also my darling grandparents living up in the lake district who seem to have an unending amount of patience for my meaningless banter, so this is mostly for my grandma and grandpa, so they dont have to listen to my banter but can instead read it without large amounts of cash leaving their phone bills. Also as the only time I seem to get free is near midnight, well, that just seems harsh to ring them at such unsociable hours!

Right, enough introduction, more banter!

I'm living in a set of student apartments called "the pavillions" about 5 miles out of the main city centre of Lincoln. The apartments are beautiful and very modern. Leather sofas, flat screen tvs and dishwashers are just some of the luxeries we enjoy here (along with double beds and really quite huge rooms!) for the same price as courts. I was lucky that my general lifestyle was what caused me to be placed in one of these flats as I received the first bill for living in courts while spending my time at Whitby Folk Week and so the courts filled up, pushing me out into the sea of Luxury that I now live in.

So what could be the downfall of this paradise? Yes, of course, it's a student pad! The fire alarm went off (Saturday?) at 4am. Now, if fire alarms are supposed to warn you of danger and to get out of the flat as quickly as possibly before you turn into what resembles human shaped bacon, then why does our fire alarm cause me to wriggle further under my duvet for long periods of time screaming "shut up!"? That thing scared the bejeezus out of me! In the end I went to the only place I knew still to be open, quiet and warm, the laundry room. In the lovely peace and warmth I met another few freshers who in turn invited me to their flat party on Thursday, which of course I will be attending!

Now I know this was days ago and I should have got over it by now, but I'm pretty sure it's because of these events I have, yet again, contracted what is known as "freshers flu". Headaches, sore muscles, runny noses that would make toddlers proud and a hacking cough that should only belong to the soon-to-be-deceased-smokers of the world.

But amazingly enough, I am not complaining! Let me explain, last night while staying at my boyfriends house, I was still awake at 3:45 in the morning. Moaning to myself about lack of sleep and stuff, my mind began to wander over my near and far future.

Near future: I have a photography project due in very soon that is named "fascinating objects". I have spent countless hours in the library over the past few days trying to get some sort of inspiration as to what I'm going to do for this project and I'm sure it's been giving poor Emily (more on her later) and other people bad headaches.

Far future: Although I knew I wanted to be a photographer of some sort because of my keen enthusiasm into the subject, I've always been stuck on what sort of photographer to be. I could see myself in the future, ring on my finger, bells on my toes, in a quaint little 4 bedroom house filled with me, my husband and children, a camera around my neck... turning into a pretty necklace as I desperately searched for non-existant freelancing jobs (yes, I do find cameras pretty thankyou very much!)